"Our lives succeed or fail gradually, then suddenly, one conversation at a time. While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a business, a marriage, or a life, any single conversation can. The conversation is the relationship."
The conversation IS the relationship... what a powerful idea. Susan Scott highlights and addresses the area where most relationships break down - in the words that we speak, how we engage one another, and how we make others feel when we do so.
She has selected seven principles of fierce conversations:
(1) "Master the courage to interrogate reality." We are all skilled at masking reality, both to ourselves and before others. She exhorts us to stop ignoring the proverbial elephant in the room, and in the words of my roommate to "deal with it!"
(2) "Come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real." Most of us are skilled at hiding behind politeness or even an attempt at 'kindness' instead of courageously engaging the person and the topic that needs to be addressed. She states, "While many fear 'real,' it is the unreal coversation that should scare us to death. Unreal conversations are expensive, for the individual and the organization. No one has to change, but everyone has to have the conversation. When the conversation is real, the change occurs before the conversation is over. You will accomplish your goals in large part by making every conversation you have as real as possible."
(3) "Be here, prepared to be nowhere else." ... "Speak and listen as if this is the most important conversation you will ever have with this person."
(4) "Tackle your toughest challenge today. ...Burnout doesn't occur because we're solving problems; it occurs because we've been trying to solve the same problem over and over."
(5) "Obey your instincts."
(6) "Take responsibility for your emotional wake. For a leader, there is no trivial comment. Something you don't remember saying may have had a devastating impact on someone who looked to you for guidance and approval. The conversation is not about the relationship, the conversation IS the relationship..."
(7) "Let silence do the heavy lifting."
"Come out from behind yourself and make it real" is a phrase that has now become stuck in my brain. My background training is in counseling, and in that vein, I have often held back from bold statements and powerful arguments for the sake of 'safety.' Perhaps in many ways I have misapplied good principles in the wrong context.
I went through some rough patches in the past few years in which I felt I lost a great deal. In that loss, there was a kind of rebirth that occurred at the end of that season: I now feel that I don't have anything left to lose or to prove. Its the sort of combination in my spiritual life and personal psyche that have generated a new boldness and frankness and courage in my personality. At least, I perceive that...and I hope that others do as well.
I'm reading Fierce Conversations a second time... its that good.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Miraculous Movements by Jerry Trousdale
Story after story after story - of God changing lives and reaching Muslims for Christ...AND inspiring others to do the same. That is the summary of this book. Incredible. Powerful. Humbling. Life-changing.
The essence of Discovery-based studies and story-telling approaches to sharing the Gospel is that they are (1) simple, (2) reproducable, (3) engage people directly in the Word of God, (4) and mirror what 'church' is to believers: prayer, sharing, worship, accountability, etc.
I have been using discovery-Bible studies for several years in the work that I do, but just this past year have felt more 'confirmed' than ever that they are exactly what God desires me to do.
Its power lies in simplicity: seekers engage God's Word directly and are immediately encouraged to put it into practice through obedience, as well as sharing with their friends and family. No seminary training needed, no classes on 'discipleship' or even evangelism training. Simple modeling and releasing. Done and done.
"Until recent years, this approach has largely been overlooked because it is so simple, and it is counterintuitive to the way ministries normally do evangelism."
The major principles of this form of Discovery Bible study are below -
(1) Go slow in order to go fast.
(2) Focus on a few to win the many.
(3) Engage an entire family or group, not just the individual.
(4) Share only when and where people are ready to hear.
(5) Start with Creation, not Christ.
(6) It's about discovering and obeying, not teaching and knowledge.
(7) Disciple people to conversion, not vice versa.
(8) Coach lost people from the beginning to discover and obey biblical truth.
(9) Prepare to spend a long time making strong disciples, but anticipate miraculous accelerations.
(10) Expect the hardest places to yield the greatest results.
And above ALL....PRAY. PRAY. PRAY... and PRAY some more, then PRAY again. PRAYER opens doors, defeats strongholds, and begets miracles. Don't bother doing anything unless you are in prayer - before, during, after and always.
If you want to know more...ask me...but my personal summary and response to this book is this: WHY would I EVER want to do ANYTHING ELSE WITH MY LIFE THAN THIS?
Done and done.
The essence of Discovery-based studies and story-telling approaches to sharing the Gospel is that they are (1) simple, (2) reproducable, (3) engage people directly in the Word of God, (4) and mirror what 'church' is to believers: prayer, sharing, worship, accountability, etc.
I have been using discovery-Bible studies for several years in the work that I do, but just this past year have felt more 'confirmed' than ever that they are exactly what God desires me to do.
Its power lies in simplicity: seekers engage God's Word directly and are immediately encouraged to put it into practice through obedience, as well as sharing with their friends and family. No seminary training needed, no classes on 'discipleship' or even evangelism training. Simple modeling and releasing. Done and done.
"Until recent years, this approach has largely been overlooked because it is so simple, and it is counterintuitive to the way ministries normally do evangelism."
The major principles of this form of Discovery Bible study are below -
(1) Go slow in order to go fast.
(2) Focus on a few to win the many.
(3) Engage an entire family or group, not just the individual.
(4) Share only when and where people are ready to hear.
(5) Start with Creation, not Christ.
(6) It's about discovering and obeying, not teaching and knowledge.
(7) Disciple people to conversion, not vice versa.
(8) Coach lost people from the beginning to discover and obey biblical truth.
(9) Prepare to spend a long time making strong disciples, but anticipate miraculous accelerations.
(10) Expect the hardest places to yield the greatest results.
And above ALL....PRAY. PRAY. PRAY... and PRAY some more, then PRAY again. PRAYER opens doors, defeats strongholds, and begets miracles. Don't bother doing anything unless you are in prayer - before, during, after and always.
If you want to know more...ask me...but my personal summary and response to this book is this: WHY would I EVER want to do ANYTHING ELSE WITH MY LIFE THAN THIS?
Done and done.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Wounded Heroes by Elizabeth R. Skoglund
Are struggles with emotion something that Christians should be ashamed of? Are they somehow evidence of sin or a faulty walk with God? Elizabeth Skoglund attempts to answer questions like this in her work, "Wounded Heroes."
I have been slowly reading this book over the past several months - the title intrigued me, and so did the list of spiritual giants that Skoglund includes: Amy Carmichael, CS Lewis, Ruth Bell Graham, CH Spurgeon and more.
I have to admit - the writing in this book is rather disjointed and made it difficult to read. I struggled to get through it. However, that being said, the nuggets of wisdom and truth I found in this book made slugging through - WORTH it. I am no great writer myself, so no harsh judgment here.
My favorite take-away from this book was how much I learned about Charles Haddon Spurgeon and his struggle with depression. Few people realize that this great giant of the faith and publisher of multiple great works and sermons struggled deeply with recurrent depression.
Skoglund puts it well - "Spurgeon did not become great alone. Nor was he a plastic saint. Rather it is his combination of greatness, strength and humanness that has refreshing appeal to the modern reader. Spurgeon was weak, yet strong; ill, yet triumphant. He had emotional problems, but they only refined him into the finest of gold which bore the image of that Great Refiner of souls."
While highly criticized for his struggle, Spurgeon saw it as a cross he bore in order to walk in humility before God despite his great fame. He wrote, "My witness is, that those who are honored by their Lord in public have usually to endure a secret chastening, or to carry a peculiar cross, lest by any means they exalt themselves, and fall into the snare of the devil..."
And again he writes, "The Lord frequently appears to save His heaviest blows for His best-loved ones; if any one affliction be more painful than another it falls to the lot of those whom He most distinguishes in His service. The Gardener prunes His best roses with most care. [Discipline] is sent to keep successful saints humble, to make them tender towards others, and to enable them to bear the high honours which their heavenly Friend puts upon them..."
Spurgeon had a tremendous gift for making things understandable to the common man. In speaking of human struggles, he wrote, "We have the treasure of the gospel in earthen vessels, and if there be a flaw in the vessel here and there, let none wonder."
Prayer was a true 'saving grace' for Spurgeon in his depression: "When our prayers are lowly...by reason of our despondency...the Lord will bow down to them, the infinitely exalted Jehovah will have respect unto them. Faith, when she has the loftiest name of God on her tongue...dares to ask from Him the most tender and condescending acts of love. Great as He is, He loves His children to be bold with Him. Our distress is a forcible reason for our being heard by the Lord God, merciful, and gracious, for misery is ever the master argument with mercy."
Spurgeon noticed that there were multiple reasons for the onslaught of depression: (1) after an hour of great success - "we are apt to faint," (2) "before any great achievement" - he recognized depression as a sign that God was preparing his ministry for a greater blessing, (3) "in the midst of a long stretch of unbroken labor" - he recognized that our humanity means that we must rest and be refreshed! and finally, (4) "causeless depression" - with no known source. This list encouraged me to watch for these reasons so that I may know how to appropriately respond - with rest and prayer.
Spurgeon had great compassion for those who suffered, and yet tried to extend grace even to those who did not understand suffering. He stated, "If these who laugh at such melancholy did but feel the grief of it for one hour, their laughter would be sobered into compassion." So true.
I have wrestled deeply with emotional distress - the highs of ministry and the lows of perceived failure are both extremely familiar to me. I believe the examples put forth in this book have enabled me to see emotional duress as something much more 'normal' in my missionally-focused life. Resilience increases as we stand firmly on the examples of those who have walked before us, learn the lessons they left behind, and move forward to strengthen others.
I have been slowly reading this book over the past several months - the title intrigued me, and so did the list of spiritual giants that Skoglund includes: Amy Carmichael, CS Lewis, Ruth Bell Graham, CH Spurgeon and more.
I have to admit - the writing in this book is rather disjointed and made it difficult to read. I struggled to get through it. However, that being said, the nuggets of wisdom and truth I found in this book made slugging through - WORTH it. I am no great writer myself, so no harsh judgment here.
My favorite take-away from this book was how much I learned about Charles Haddon Spurgeon and his struggle with depression. Few people realize that this great giant of the faith and publisher of multiple great works and sermons struggled deeply with recurrent depression.
Skoglund puts it well - "Spurgeon did not become great alone. Nor was he a plastic saint. Rather it is his combination of greatness, strength and humanness that has refreshing appeal to the modern reader. Spurgeon was weak, yet strong; ill, yet triumphant. He had emotional problems, but they only refined him into the finest of gold which bore the image of that Great Refiner of souls."
While highly criticized for his struggle, Spurgeon saw it as a cross he bore in order to walk in humility before God despite his great fame. He wrote, "My witness is, that those who are honored by their Lord in public have usually to endure a secret chastening, or to carry a peculiar cross, lest by any means they exalt themselves, and fall into the snare of the devil..."
And again he writes, "The Lord frequently appears to save His heaviest blows for His best-loved ones; if any one affliction be more painful than another it falls to the lot of those whom He most distinguishes in His service. The Gardener prunes His best roses with most care. [Discipline] is sent to keep successful saints humble, to make them tender towards others, and to enable them to bear the high honours which their heavenly Friend puts upon them..."
Spurgeon had a tremendous gift for making things understandable to the common man. In speaking of human struggles, he wrote, "We have the treasure of the gospel in earthen vessels, and if there be a flaw in the vessel here and there, let none wonder."
Prayer was a true 'saving grace' for Spurgeon in his depression: "When our prayers are lowly...by reason of our despondency...the Lord will bow down to them, the infinitely exalted Jehovah will have respect unto them. Faith, when she has the loftiest name of God on her tongue...dares to ask from Him the most tender and condescending acts of love. Great as He is, He loves His children to be bold with Him. Our distress is a forcible reason for our being heard by the Lord God, merciful, and gracious, for misery is ever the master argument with mercy."
Spurgeon noticed that there were multiple reasons for the onslaught of depression: (1) after an hour of great success - "we are apt to faint," (2) "before any great achievement" - he recognized depression as a sign that God was preparing his ministry for a greater blessing, (3) "in the midst of a long stretch of unbroken labor" - he recognized that our humanity means that we must rest and be refreshed! and finally, (4) "causeless depression" - with no known source. This list encouraged me to watch for these reasons so that I may know how to appropriately respond - with rest and prayer.
Spurgeon had great compassion for those who suffered, and yet tried to extend grace even to those who did not understand suffering. He stated, "If these who laugh at such melancholy did but feel the grief of it for one hour, their laughter would be sobered into compassion." So true.
I have wrestled deeply with emotional distress - the highs of ministry and the lows of perceived failure are both extremely familiar to me. I believe the examples put forth in this book have enabled me to see emotional duress as something much more 'normal' in my missionally-focused life. Resilience increases as we stand firmly on the examples of those who have walked before us, learn the lessons they left behind, and move forward to strengthen others.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
The Holy Spirit in Mission by Gary Tyra
In this book, Gary Tyra, a veteran missionary, presents a scholarly work about the relationship between the Holy Spirit and missional faithfulness in the Body of Christ. He relates Biblical examples, and then describes the characteristics of those who relate with the Holy Spirit in ways that prompt them to speak and act in a missional way.
This book challenged my theological boxes in a good way. In the past 6 years on the mission field I have found that God does not operate inside of my theological position.
Tyra believes that the Holy Spirit "can and must be related to in an interpersonal manner." He calls all believers, especially "rank and file" Christians to engage in the exciting adventure of asking for prophetic direction in their daily life. In many places in the world where the church has spread rapidly and exponentially, especially in the Global South, one of the paramount beliefs among the people is that God is living and active in their daily lives. They have a personal sense of call and responsibility to engage in sharing Christ with their friends, families, and neighbors - and they directly engage the Holy Spirit - asking for words of direction, prayer or service. Tyra asks - why can't this growth happen in the 'West'? What paradigm shift is necessary for us to change our relationship with the Holy Spirit and our mission?
Tyra observes that we live in an age of religious relativism. In direct contrast, prophetic messages demonstrate the power and uniqueness of the God we serve, and result in conversion. Tyra believes that the essence of the Holy Spirit is truly "missional" - in opposition to those that emphasize only a personal "experience" or blessing. This encounter with the Holy Spirit, he says, must produce outward-focused action, not only individual experience or blessing.
Tyra believes that Luke's portrayal of the Holy Spirit is primarily missional - based on the books of Luke and Acts - referencing Joel 2:28-29, that believers will all prophesy someday. He sees Paul's portrayal of the Spirit as primarily soteriological (focused on salvation), but says that the two views are of course compatible. To quote the book, "...it must be aknowledged that Luke's message overall seems to be that all Spirit-filled believers possess the capacity, like Ananias, to hear God's voice, receive ministry assignments, speak and act on Christ's behalf, make new disciples, and build up the church, offering a powerful refutation of religious relativism in the process!"
Tyra calls all evangelical believers to allow the Spirit to move them to action or speech that will impact those around us. He says, "Speaking to myself as well as anyone else: what would happen if more evangelical church members became open to the idea that on any given day the Spirit of God might send them, like Philip, on a special ministry assignment? How hard is it to say to someone, when appropriate, 'Hey, I could be wrong, but I just have this strong feeling that God wants me to tell you a story?' We might be surprised at how many hearts the Holy Spirit has already prepared for such an encounter."
Tyra recognizes that some believers self-identify as pentecostal-charismatic, and some do not. Some do not believe that the Holy Spirit 'speaks' today. He challenges this assumption with examples of prompting and guidance that even the most conservative among us would acknowledge were of the Lord. He states, "What if the kind of prophetic activity I am describing here - obeying a significantly strong impression to humbly, gently speak and act in the name of the risen Christ really is, at least some of the time the work of the Holy Spirit? What kind of missional faithfulness would such a large-scale paradigm shift among evangelicals unleash in the Western world?"
Many of us have judged the idea of prophetic speech and action based on poor examples and abuse of this kind of speech. We have read stories and heard dogmatic teachers tell us of the evils of this approach. Tyra calls everyone to examine what Scripture says and to judge appropriately.
Tyra reminds us that expectency tends to preceed experience. I also concur that God seems to wait for us to have strong desire for His presence or direction before He gives it. The stronger our desire, the greater He rewards that desire with specific guidance. Might our assumption that the Spirit does not act and speak to us personally today hinder us from recognizing His voice?
Tyra challenges us to embrace this paradigm-shift, to embrace a "different way of being a Christian." He asks us, "What if more evangelical church members were in the habit of taking seriously the promptings produced by the Spirit to speak and act toward those inside and outside the family of believers in loving, equipping ways (see Gal 6:10)? How many more missionally effective acts of servant-like compassion might be generated?"
To conclude - it is my personal experience on the mission field that my own talent and speech and efforts produce little without time on my knees. It is also my experience that when I have felt a prompting to act or speak to someone that I think is of the Lord - it has resulted in fruit, and when I have ignored this prompting - it has been to the detriment of the Gospel.
It is not the purpose of this blog to lay out my exact theological position, but I will say that this book has challenged me to ask God very directly for more of the Spirit's guidance and direction in my life - and ESPECIALLY in my missional lifestyle. Perhaps the biggest question for me is not IF He will guide me, but WHEN He does give direction - will I obey?
This book challenged my theological boxes in a good way. In the past 6 years on the mission field I have found that God does not operate inside of my theological position.
Tyra believes that the Holy Spirit "can and must be related to in an interpersonal manner." He calls all believers, especially "rank and file" Christians to engage in the exciting adventure of asking for prophetic direction in their daily life. In many places in the world where the church has spread rapidly and exponentially, especially in the Global South, one of the paramount beliefs among the people is that God is living and active in their daily lives. They have a personal sense of call and responsibility to engage in sharing Christ with their friends, families, and neighbors - and they directly engage the Holy Spirit - asking for words of direction, prayer or service. Tyra asks - why can't this growth happen in the 'West'? What paradigm shift is necessary for us to change our relationship with the Holy Spirit and our mission?
Tyra observes that we live in an age of religious relativism. In direct contrast, prophetic messages demonstrate the power and uniqueness of the God we serve, and result in conversion. Tyra believes that the essence of the Holy Spirit is truly "missional" - in opposition to those that emphasize only a personal "experience" or blessing. This encounter with the Holy Spirit, he says, must produce outward-focused action, not only individual experience or blessing.
Tyra believes that Luke's portrayal of the Holy Spirit is primarily missional - based on the books of Luke and Acts - referencing Joel 2:28-29, that believers will all prophesy someday. He sees Paul's portrayal of the Spirit as primarily soteriological (focused on salvation), but says that the two views are of course compatible. To quote the book, "...it must be aknowledged that Luke's message overall seems to be that all Spirit-filled believers possess the capacity, like Ananias, to hear God's voice, receive ministry assignments, speak and act on Christ's behalf, make new disciples, and build up the church, offering a powerful refutation of religious relativism in the process!"
Tyra calls all evangelical believers to allow the Spirit to move them to action or speech that will impact those around us. He says, "Speaking to myself as well as anyone else: what would happen if more evangelical church members became open to the idea that on any given day the Spirit of God might send them, like Philip, on a special ministry assignment? How hard is it to say to someone, when appropriate, 'Hey, I could be wrong, but I just have this strong feeling that God wants me to tell you a story?' We might be surprised at how many hearts the Holy Spirit has already prepared for such an encounter."
Tyra recognizes that some believers self-identify as pentecostal-charismatic, and some do not. Some do not believe that the Holy Spirit 'speaks' today. He challenges this assumption with examples of prompting and guidance that even the most conservative among us would acknowledge were of the Lord. He states, "What if the kind of prophetic activity I am describing here - obeying a significantly strong impression to humbly, gently speak and act in the name of the risen Christ really is, at least some of the time the work of the Holy Spirit? What kind of missional faithfulness would such a large-scale paradigm shift among evangelicals unleash in the Western world?"
Many of us have judged the idea of prophetic speech and action based on poor examples and abuse of this kind of speech. We have read stories and heard dogmatic teachers tell us of the evils of this approach. Tyra calls everyone to examine what Scripture says and to judge appropriately.
Tyra reminds us that expectency tends to preceed experience. I also concur that God seems to wait for us to have strong desire for His presence or direction before He gives it. The stronger our desire, the greater He rewards that desire with specific guidance. Might our assumption that the Spirit does not act and speak to us personally today hinder us from recognizing His voice?
Tyra challenges us to embrace this paradigm-shift, to embrace a "different way of being a Christian." He asks us, "What if more evangelical church members were in the habit of taking seriously the promptings produced by the Spirit to speak and act toward those inside and outside the family of believers in loving, equipping ways (see Gal 6:10)? How many more missionally effective acts of servant-like compassion might be generated?"
To conclude - it is my personal experience on the mission field that my own talent and speech and efforts produce little without time on my knees. It is also my experience that when I have felt a prompting to act or speak to someone that I think is of the Lord - it has resulted in fruit, and when I have ignored this prompting - it has been to the detriment of the Gospel.
It is not the purpose of this blog to lay out my exact theological position, but I will say that this book has challenged me to ask God very directly for more of the Spirit's guidance and direction in my life - and ESPECIALLY in my missional lifestyle. Perhaps the biggest question for me is not IF He will guide me, but WHEN He does give direction - will I obey?
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Speaking of Jesus: The Art of Non-Evangelism by Carl Medearis
This is a controversial read...and yet I was challenged by it. Meaderis' book wrestles with the idea of speaking of Jesus versus the (somewhat Western) mentality of event-evangelism: the sharing of our faith and bringing someone to conversion. He contrasts a lifestyle as a Jesus-follower and the label of "Christian," or "Christianity." His research and experience shows that people respond positively to Jesus, but negatively toward things labeled "Christian."
Missiologists have wrestled with this idea for years - and Meaderis' experience living overseas shows how he has wrestled as well. Put one way, this book is a kind of missiology on witnessing but in popular terminology and writing style.
First - I will review the positives - the things that challenged me. At the end, I will share a few concerns.
The strength of Medearis is his simplicity: bringing us back to JESUS, not religion. As a missiologist might say when bringing the message of Jesus to another land: bring the seed, not the whole tree. Medearis nails this. Leave the doctrinal explanations at home - stick to Jesus.
Meadearis reminds us that Jesus was hardest on those who were religious, not those who were messy. He was attracted to those who could acknowledge their need. Medearis regularly asks those he is sharing with whom Jesus might prefer to 'hang out with' - and when the individual assumes its Medearis - he corrects them quickly. "Jesus would go home with you," he says.
One of the author's favorite hang-outs was a coffee shop/book store where some of the most "un-christianized" people in Colorado Springs hang out. He asks - if Jesus were here today, where would HE hang out? right here. I agree wholeheartedly. Jesus would not visit our mega-churches. He would most likely be visiting bars on Christopher Street, or speaking words of hope in South-East Asia's slums and brothels.
I agreed with most of what Medearis has to say. My one word of caution is that Medearis focuses almost completely on the beginning of walking with Jesus - on sharing with the lost and seeing them come to a place of discipleship of Jesus. He does not address what brings believers to maturity - nor is it the purpose of his book. There is a place and a need for solid doctrine. Sometimes - we can develop a sort of reverse-pharisaism that sounds uber-spiritual because we choose to toss out the extras and "just keep Jesus." Meaderis borders on this attitude - at least that is my perception.
My other word of caution is that Jesus is the Gospel - and so we must not forget the completeness of the Gospel and the urgency of sharing this good news. Yes, Jesus personifies the Gospel - but one cannot understand the power of that Gospel without grasping God's standards and laws and the price to be paid for sin that was spelled out in the Old Testament.
My take-away application from this book is to speak loudly, boldly, freely, and lovingly of JESUS and how He has changed my life. I love the idea of "leaving breadcrumbs" for Jesus - toss them out and see who picks them up and says - I want more!
Yet - I find that one of the most effective forms of evangelism is to take those who respond to the "taste" of Jesus that was offered: and bring them into a small group study that begins in the Old Testament and works through key passages until the Person of Jesus is discovered by the participants. Engaging the Word of God directly and personally changes people, and often - brings people to repentance and into the arms of Jesus.
Well...this was a long blog post. I read this book in about one day. Its not a hard read. It will challenge you and step on your toes - but its worth reading.
Missiologists have wrestled with this idea for years - and Meaderis' experience living overseas shows how he has wrestled as well. Put one way, this book is a kind of missiology on witnessing but in popular terminology and writing style.
First - I will review the positives - the things that challenged me. At the end, I will share a few concerns.
The strength of Medearis is his simplicity: bringing us back to JESUS, not religion. As a missiologist might say when bringing the message of Jesus to another land: bring the seed, not the whole tree. Medearis nails this. Leave the doctrinal explanations at home - stick to Jesus.
"The gospel is not a what. It is not a how. The gospel is a
Who. The gospel is literally the good news of Jesus. Jesus is the gospel. ...E. Stanley Jones continues this thought in his book The
Christ of the Indian Road: “The sheer storm and stress of things had driven me
to a place that I could hold. Then I saw that there is where I should have been
all the time. I saw that the gospel lies in the person of Jesus, that he
himself is the Good News, that my one task was to live and to present him. My
task was simplified.”"
In the West, we suffer from what one might call "control-freak Christianity" - our attempt to understand, explain and systematize all things of our faith - and then we err by trying to be sure anyone who wants to 'join our Christian club' understands all of those points too. Meadearis reminds us, "Are we saved by our brains or our hearts?" In other words, when we look at the life of Jesus - He did not explain all points of doctrine or 'make converts' - He simply invited people to follow Him. That true discipleship changed them. Meadearis reminds us that Jesus was hardest on those who were religious, not those who were messy. He was attracted to those who could acknowledge their need. Medearis regularly asks those he is sharing with whom Jesus might prefer to 'hang out with' - and when the individual assumes its Medearis - he corrects them quickly. "Jesus would go home with you," he says.
One of the author's favorite hang-outs was a coffee shop/book store where some of the most "un-christianized" people in Colorado Springs hang out. He asks - if Jesus were here today, where would HE hang out? right here. I agree wholeheartedly. Jesus would not visit our mega-churches. He would most likely be visiting bars on Christopher Street, or speaking words of hope in South-East Asia's slums and brothels.
When I personally read the words of Jesus - I often feel as though I fall so far short. Jesus' rebuke of the Pharisees often describes me so much more often than His words to the ill or the outcast: Medearis says it this way: "Perhaps … those who think they’re “in” or that they know the
way or have the truth need a bit of shaking. Legalism is the enemy of Jesus.
...as soon as our
attitudes shift from a humble “knowing” of Jesus to a know-it-all type of
arrogance, we’re toast. We will be on the rebuking end of Jesus’ words."
Meadearis calls believers to simplify their idea of 'witnessing' - to love and listen to people, speak freely and often and boldly of Jesus and how He has changed your life. Stop the Christianese and the endless explanations. Let people be attracted to the Person of Jesus and begin to follow Him. YES.
Friday, February 1, 2013
The Kings Cross - by Tim Keller
There is never enough space on this blog to capture the fullness of some of the best books that I have read. That is true now.
The Kings Cross captures the Gospel story by going page by page through the book of Mark, giving not only the message of salvation - but an example of a life lived that gloried in service, and exalted in self-sacrifice. Below are some of my favorite nuggets - and I will comment on how they impacted me.
The Kings Cross captures the Gospel story by going page by page through the book of Mark, giving not only the message of salvation - but an example of a life lived that gloried in service, and exalted in self-sacrifice. Below are some of my favorite nuggets - and I will comment on how they impacted me.
"...there are two ways to fail to let Jesus be your Savior.
One is by being too proud, having a superiority complex—not to accept his
challenge. But the other is through an inferiority complex—being so
self-absorbed that you say, “I’m just so awful that God couldn’t love me.” That
is, not to accept his offer."
Whether you struggle with superiority or inferiority- Jesus extends His offer of salvation to all.
"There’s something else Mark wants his readers to think
about. Isaiah says the Messiah will come to save us “with divine retribution.”
But Jesus isn’t smiting people. He’s not taking out his sword. He’s not taking
power; he’s giving it away. He’s not taking over the world; he’s serving it.
Where’s the divine retribution? And the answer is, he didn’t come to bring
divine retribution; he came to bear it. On the cross, Jesus would identify with
us totally. On the cross, the Child of God was thrown away, cast away from the
table without a crumb, so that those of us who are not children of God could be
adopted and brought in. Put another way, the Child had to become a dog so that
we could become sons and daughters at the table....Don’t be too isolated to think you are beyond healing. Don’t
be too proud to accept what the gospel says about your unworthiness. Don’t be
too despondent to accept what the gospel says about how loved you are."
The idea of the sacrifice of Jesus grows deeper and deeper throughout this book - defining not only our salvation story, but also the way in which we ought to live it out with one another. Taking pain and rejection onto onself, 'eating' the pain and struggle - so that another might be free and full of joy.
"But here is Jesus saying, “Yes, I’m the Messiah, the King,
but I came not to live but to die. I’m not here to take power but to lose it;
I’m here not to rule but to serve. And that’s how I’m going to defeat evil and
put everything right.”...Jesus didn’t take power; he gave it up—and yet he triumphed. On
the cross, then, the world’s misuse and glorification of power was exposed for
what it is and defeated. The spell of the world’s systems was broken."
Keller repeats this theme in the book: "All real, life-changing love is substitutionary sacrifice."
When I hear stories of radical change, radical community-sweeping change: it doesn't revolve around a great preacher or powerful person or a strategic method: It revolves around a person who has been so captured by God, is so in love with Jesus, and so absolutely filled with the Spirit that he/she gives themselves away completely - meaning the loss of self, power, reputation, status, and more. This is radical, life-changing SUBSTITUTIONARY SACRIFICE - that is only sustainable in our lives because Someone Else has done it on our behalf first.
"Jesus says, 'My power is always moving away from people who
love power and money. My power is always moving toward people who are giving it
away, as I did. Where do you want to live?'"
The biggest impact of this book on my life was a renewed and deepened determination to submit with every ounce of my being to His glorious redemption in my life. As one person put it, to be "thoroughly converted." To open up the areas where pride and selfishness continue to control me, and to invite the Spirit in to 'clean house' and continually change me.
"Submit with every fiber of your being, and you will find
eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be
really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the
dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred,
loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will
find Him, and with Him everything else thrown.." - C.S. Lewis...quoted by Keller in this book
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
We are "hard-wired for connection," writes Brene Brown. This is how we were designed to live. But what happens when SHAME permeates our being? Generally, it drives us away from connection with others. And yet, "vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experiences." Shame makes us want to hide from others, crushing any sign of vulnerability. But this is a catch-22: without appropriate vulnerability, we cannot meaningfully connect with others.
What to do? We must learn to spot the way that shame creeps into our lives, how to react to it, and how to move forward in meaningful connection with others. And as believers - we let Jesus carry all shame.
Brown is a shame & vulnerability researcher. Yup. She indicates in this book that she attends church and has a spiritual side - but she does not give specifics, so she does not necessarily write from an evangelical Christian perspective. That being stated, there is much to learn from her research. I believe that much of what she teaches can be Biblically supported - God has wired us to connect with others, and has designed a Gospel that disempowers shame - Jesus took it for us.
Here are some nuggets I took from the book -
"When shame becomes a management style, engagement dies." - so true! As leaders, parents, bosses, etc. - we must learn when and how we receive or give out shame so that we can intentionally choose another approach.
"What we know matters, but who we are matters more." - I've heard this kind of idea before, but when it comes to shame - it relates to the way that I make others 'feel' around me. Do they feel supported, loved, or even confronted with truth and mercy? Or do they sense my critical spirit? My impatience? My sense of superiority?
Brown writes about the "scarcity" problem - that we are never "enough" - fill in the blank with your preference. Never thin enough, strong enough, smart enough, safe enough, etc. When we enter relationships and life from a foundation of "not enough" - then we are operating from a place of shame. This issue of a lack of 'worthiness' is a common human experience. The most important issue is how we respond to this feeling. We conciously or unconciously try to make ourselves 'worthy' through various methods and strategies - but in the end these strategies fall far short. We try to hide our 'unworthy' sides - but Brown points out that this is actually hindering us from connection with others - which is ironically where the solution lies.
Brown defines Shame - "...the fear of disconnection - it's the fear that something we've done or failed to do, an ideal that we've not lived up to, or a goal that we've not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection. i'm not...good enough...I'm unlovable. I don't belong. ...Shame is the intensely powerful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging."
Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability is "uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure." "Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness." Literally, in latin, vulnerability means 'capable of being wounded,' whereas weakness means the "inability to withstand attack or wounding."
Vulnerability is what opens our lives and hearts to others for meaningful, wholehearted connection. To love, to live, to do art or sing or write poetry, to engage instead of running away, to try and start a business, to share an opinion when it might be rejected - all of these are examples of vulnerability - and so many more. But what makes vulnerability so fearful is that we are afraid that we are NOT ENOUGH.
"We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we're afraid to let them see it in us. We're afraid... that what we have to offer isn't enough without the bells and whistles, without editing, and impressing." Brown describes the crux of the struggle: "I want to experience your vulnerability but I don't want to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me. I'm drawn to your vulnerability but repelled by mine."
But here's the kicker: experiencing vulnerability is not a choice. "...regardless of our willingness to do vulnerability, it does us. When we pretend that we can avoid vulnerability we engage in behaviors that are often inconsistent with who we want to be. Experiencing vulnerability isn't a choice - the only choice we have is how we're going to respond when we are confronted with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure."
To grow in vulnerability - we must grow in our shame-resilience. Brown describes several ways to do this. As a believer, I would emphasize that our ultimate resilience to shame lies in the cross. Jesus paid for me, lived the life I wish I could have lived, and has nailed it all to the cross. My level of belief in this profound truth is equal to how bravely I choose to live free of shame. Brown does indicate that guilt and shame are different. Guilt is "I have done something bad," shame is "I am bad." Salvation deals with our "badness" once and for all - we are now Saints robed in His righteousness. Therefore, we can approach life from a place of 'worthiness,' and deal appropriately with guilt.
Brown describes four steps to cultivate shame-resilience: (1) recognize shame and understand its triggers, (2) practice critical awareness - reality check the shame messages, (3) reach out - own and share your story with trusted others, and (4) speaking shame - talk about how you feel and what you need from others when you feel shame.
Brown does not promote undiscerning vulnerability - its about "sharing our feelings and experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them." Its part of trust. We are not obligated to be vulnerable with those we do not trust.
I could go on and on...but I think you get the summary of this book. What it impacts the most for me - is my leadership style. If I want to seed a culture of vulnerability - then I need to be willing to be exposed within my own team. Brown includes this statement in her book: "There's actually some very persuasive leadership research that supports the idea that asking for support is critical, and that vulnerability and courage are contagious. In a 2011 Harvard Business Review article, Peter Fuda and Richard Badham use a series of metaphors to explore how leaders spark and sustain change. One of the metaphors is the snowball. The snowball starts rolling when a leader is willing to be vulnerable with his or her subordinates. Their research shows that this act of vulnerability is predictably perceived as courageous by team members and inspires others to follow suit." Research also shows that a shame-resilient work culture nurtures creativity and openness to feedback, whereas shame kills innovation.
This is a long summary - and I'm nowhere near capturing the strength of this book. I highly recommend reading this book - take it with a grain of salt and overlay Biblical teaching and you will benefit deeply. I think its a great idea to talk about what you read and learn with a trusted friend or spouse in order to grow in your awareness of shame and the role it plays in your life.
What to do? We must learn to spot the way that shame creeps into our lives, how to react to it, and how to move forward in meaningful connection with others. And as believers - we let Jesus carry all shame.
Brown is a shame & vulnerability researcher. Yup. She indicates in this book that she attends church and has a spiritual side - but she does not give specifics, so she does not necessarily write from an evangelical Christian perspective. That being stated, there is much to learn from her research. I believe that much of what she teaches can be Biblically supported - God has wired us to connect with others, and has designed a Gospel that disempowers shame - Jesus took it for us.
Here are some nuggets I took from the book -
"When shame becomes a management style, engagement dies." - so true! As leaders, parents, bosses, etc. - we must learn when and how we receive or give out shame so that we can intentionally choose another approach.
"What we know matters, but who we are matters more." - I've heard this kind of idea before, but when it comes to shame - it relates to the way that I make others 'feel' around me. Do they feel supported, loved, or even confronted with truth and mercy? Or do they sense my critical spirit? My impatience? My sense of superiority?
Brown writes about the "scarcity" problem - that we are never "enough" - fill in the blank with your preference. Never thin enough, strong enough, smart enough, safe enough, etc. When we enter relationships and life from a foundation of "not enough" - then we are operating from a place of shame. This issue of a lack of 'worthiness' is a common human experience. The most important issue is how we respond to this feeling. We conciously or unconciously try to make ourselves 'worthy' through various methods and strategies - but in the end these strategies fall far short. We try to hide our 'unworthy' sides - but Brown points out that this is actually hindering us from connection with others - which is ironically where the solution lies.
Brown defines Shame - "...the fear of disconnection - it's the fear that something we've done or failed to do, an ideal that we've not lived up to, or a goal that we've not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection. i'm not...good enough...I'm unlovable. I don't belong. ...Shame is the intensely powerful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging."
Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability is "uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure." "Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness." Literally, in latin, vulnerability means 'capable of being wounded,' whereas weakness means the "inability to withstand attack or wounding."
Vulnerability is what opens our lives and hearts to others for meaningful, wholehearted connection. To love, to live, to do art or sing or write poetry, to engage instead of running away, to try and start a business, to share an opinion when it might be rejected - all of these are examples of vulnerability - and so many more. But what makes vulnerability so fearful is that we are afraid that we are NOT ENOUGH.
"We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we're afraid to let them see it in us. We're afraid... that what we have to offer isn't enough without the bells and whistles, without editing, and impressing." Brown describes the crux of the struggle: "I want to experience your vulnerability but I don't want to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me. I'm drawn to your vulnerability but repelled by mine."
But here's the kicker: experiencing vulnerability is not a choice. "...regardless of our willingness to do vulnerability, it does us. When we pretend that we can avoid vulnerability we engage in behaviors that are often inconsistent with who we want to be. Experiencing vulnerability isn't a choice - the only choice we have is how we're going to respond when we are confronted with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure."
To grow in vulnerability - we must grow in our shame-resilience. Brown describes several ways to do this. As a believer, I would emphasize that our ultimate resilience to shame lies in the cross. Jesus paid for me, lived the life I wish I could have lived, and has nailed it all to the cross. My level of belief in this profound truth is equal to how bravely I choose to live free of shame. Brown does indicate that guilt and shame are different. Guilt is "I have done something bad," shame is "I am bad." Salvation deals with our "badness" once and for all - we are now Saints robed in His righteousness. Therefore, we can approach life from a place of 'worthiness,' and deal appropriately with guilt.
Brown describes four steps to cultivate shame-resilience: (1) recognize shame and understand its triggers, (2) practice critical awareness - reality check the shame messages, (3) reach out - own and share your story with trusted others, and (4) speaking shame - talk about how you feel and what you need from others when you feel shame.
Brown does not promote undiscerning vulnerability - its about "sharing our feelings and experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them." Its part of trust. We are not obligated to be vulnerable with those we do not trust.
I could go on and on...but I think you get the summary of this book. What it impacts the most for me - is my leadership style. If I want to seed a culture of vulnerability - then I need to be willing to be exposed within my own team. Brown includes this statement in her book: "There's actually some very persuasive leadership research that supports the idea that asking for support is critical, and that vulnerability and courage are contagious. In a 2011 Harvard Business Review article, Peter Fuda and Richard Badham use a series of metaphors to explore how leaders spark and sustain change. One of the metaphors is the snowball. The snowball starts rolling when a leader is willing to be vulnerable with his or her subordinates. Their research shows that this act of vulnerability is predictably perceived as courageous by team members and inspires others to follow suit." Research also shows that a shame-resilient work culture nurtures creativity and openness to feedback, whereas shame kills innovation.
This is a long summary - and I'm nowhere near capturing the strength of this book. I highly recommend reading this book - take it with a grain of salt and overlay Biblical teaching and you will benefit deeply. I think its a great idea to talk about what you read and learn with a trusted friend or spouse in order to grow in your awareness of shame and the role it plays in your life.
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