We are "hard-wired for connection," writes Brene Brown. This is how we were designed to live. But what happens when SHAME permeates our being? Generally, it drives us away from connection with others. And yet, "vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experiences." Shame makes us want to hide from others, crushing any sign of vulnerability. But this is a catch-22: without appropriate vulnerability, we cannot meaningfully connect with others.
What to do? We must learn to spot the way that shame creeps into our lives, how to react to it, and how to move forward in meaningful connection with others. And as believers - we let Jesus carry all shame.
Brown is a shame & vulnerability researcher. Yup. She indicates in this book that she attends church and has a spiritual side - but she does not give specifics, so she does not necessarily write from an evangelical Christian perspective. That being stated, there is much to learn from her research. I believe that much of what she teaches can be Biblically supported - God has wired us to connect with others, and has designed a Gospel that disempowers shame - Jesus took it for us.
Here are some nuggets I took from the book -
"When shame becomes a management style, engagement dies." - so true! As leaders, parents, bosses, etc. - we must learn when and how we receive or give out shame so that we can intentionally choose another approach.
"What we know matters, but who we are matters more." - I've heard this kind of idea before, but when it comes to shame - it relates to the way that I make others 'feel' around me. Do they feel supported, loved, or even confronted with truth and mercy? Or do they sense my critical spirit? My impatience? My sense of superiority?
Brown writes about the "scarcity" problem - that we are never "enough" - fill in the blank with your preference. Never thin enough, strong enough, smart enough, safe enough, etc. When we enter relationships and life from a foundation of "not enough" - then we are operating from a place of shame. This issue of a lack of 'worthiness' is a common human experience. The most important issue is how we respond to this feeling. We conciously or unconciously try to make ourselves 'worthy' through various methods and strategies - but in the end these strategies fall far short. We try to hide our 'unworthy' sides - but Brown points out that this is actually hindering us from connection with others - which is ironically where the solution lies.
Brown defines Shame - "...the fear of disconnection - it's the fear that something we've done or failed to do, an ideal that we've not lived up to, or a goal that we've not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection. i'm not...good enough...I'm unlovable. I don't belong. ...Shame is the intensely powerful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging."
Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability is "uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure." "Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness." Literally, in latin, vulnerability means 'capable of being wounded,' whereas weakness means the "inability to withstand attack or wounding."
Vulnerability is what opens our lives and hearts to others for meaningful, wholehearted connection. To love, to live, to do art or sing or write poetry, to engage instead of running away, to try and start a business, to share an opinion when it might be rejected - all of these are examples of vulnerability - and so many more. But what makes vulnerability so fearful is that we are afraid that we are NOT ENOUGH.
"We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we're afraid to let them see it in us. We're afraid... that what we have to offer isn't enough without the bells and whistles, without editing, and impressing." Brown describes the crux of the struggle: "I want to experience your vulnerability but I don't want to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me. I'm drawn to your vulnerability but repelled by mine."
But here's the kicker: experiencing vulnerability is not a choice. "...regardless of our willingness to do vulnerability, it does us. When we pretend that we can avoid vulnerability we engage in behaviors that are often inconsistent with who we want to be. Experiencing vulnerability isn't a choice - the only choice we have is how we're going to respond when we are confronted with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure."
To grow in vulnerability - we must grow in our shame-resilience. Brown describes several ways to do this. As a believer, I would emphasize that our ultimate resilience to shame lies in the cross. Jesus paid for me, lived the life I wish I could have lived, and has nailed it all to the cross. My level of belief in this profound truth is equal to how bravely I choose to live free of shame. Brown does indicate that guilt and shame are different. Guilt is "I have done something bad," shame is "I am bad." Salvation deals with our "badness" once and for all - we are now Saints robed in His righteousness. Therefore, we can approach life from a place of 'worthiness,' and deal appropriately with guilt.
Brown describes four steps to cultivate shame-resilience: (1) recognize shame and understand its triggers, (2) practice critical awareness - reality check the shame messages, (3) reach out - own and share your story with trusted others, and (4) speaking shame - talk about how you feel and what you need from others when you feel shame.
Brown does not promote undiscerning vulnerability - its about "sharing our feelings and experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them." Its part of trust. We are not obligated to be vulnerable with those we do not trust.
I could go on and on...but I think you get the summary of this book. What it impacts the most for me - is my leadership style. If I want to seed a culture of vulnerability - then I need to be willing to be exposed within my own team. Brown includes this statement in her book: "There's actually some very persuasive leadership research that supports the idea that asking for support is critical, and that vulnerability and courage are contagious. In a 2011 Harvard Business Review article, Peter Fuda and Richard Badham use a series of metaphors to explore how leaders spark and sustain change. One of the metaphors is the snowball. The snowball starts rolling when a leader is willing to be vulnerable with his or her subordinates. Their research shows that this act of vulnerability is predictably perceived as courageous by team members and inspires others to follow suit." Research also shows that a shame-resilient work culture nurtures creativity and openness to feedback, whereas shame kills innovation.
This is a long summary - and I'm nowhere near capturing the strength of this book. I highly recommend reading this book - take it with a grain of salt and overlay Biblical teaching and you will benefit deeply. I think its a great idea to talk about what you read and learn with a trusted friend or spouse in order to grow in your awareness of shame and the role it plays in your life.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Monday, December 3, 2012
The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller
Gospel-humility. Definitely one of my goals. But how? When one pursues humility directly, it is elusive. It becomes a focus in and of itself, which is counter-productive to the whole idea.
Tim Keller addresses this is in his short but power-packed booklet on Self-Forgetfulness. Our egos are always busy - looking to fill themselves up on something. We are usually over-inflated or under-inflated...but either way, we are puffed up on the proverbial 'hot air' instead of filled up with the 'solidness' of Christ.
Keller builds his talk on the book of Corinthians - Paul says that he cares very little if he is judged by any human court and he does not even judge himself!
Keller states,
"Gospel-humility is not needing to think about myself. Not needing to connect things with myself. It is an end to thoughts such as, 'I'm in this room with these people, does that make me look good? Do I want to be here?' True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings."
and...
"A truly Gospel-humble person is not a self-hating person or a self-loving person, but a gospel-humble person. The truly gospel-humble person is a self-forgetful person whose ego is just like his or her toes. It just works. It does not draw attention to itself."
C.S. Lewis states that humility is not thinking less of oneself, but thinking of oneself LESS.
In true Gospel-Christianity, the VERDICT of Christ's righteousness leads to our performance; our performance does NOT lead to the verdict. We are declared righteous.
Keller closes his booklet with this...
"Like Paul, we can say, 'I don't care what you think. I don't even care what I think. I only care about what the Lord thinks.' And he has said, 'Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,' and 'You are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased.' Live out of that."
Tim Keller addresses this is in his short but power-packed booklet on Self-Forgetfulness. Our egos are always busy - looking to fill themselves up on something. We are usually over-inflated or under-inflated...but either way, we are puffed up on the proverbial 'hot air' instead of filled up with the 'solidness' of Christ.
Keller builds his talk on the book of Corinthians - Paul says that he cares very little if he is judged by any human court and he does not even judge himself!
Keller states,
"Gospel-humility is not needing to think about myself. Not needing to connect things with myself. It is an end to thoughts such as, 'I'm in this room with these people, does that make me look good? Do I want to be here?' True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings."
and...
"A truly Gospel-humble person is not a self-hating person or a self-loving person, but a gospel-humble person. The truly gospel-humble person is a self-forgetful person whose ego is just like his or her toes. It just works. It does not draw attention to itself."
C.S. Lewis states that humility is not thinking less of oneself, but thinking of oneself LESS.
In true Gospel-Christianity, the VERDICT of Christ's righteousness leads to our performance; our performance does NOT lead to the verdict. We are declared righteous.
Keller closes his booklet with this...
"Like Paul, we can say, 'I don't care what you think. I don't even care what I think. I only care about what the Lord thinks.' And he has said, 'Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,' and 'You are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased.' Live out of that."
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality - Pete Scazzero
Loved this book. I suppose I say that about all of the books I read...I guess because each one is kind of like a new friend: you can learn something from all of them, even if they have some faults. (Maybe that is why I don't like to give my 'friends' away...and my library grows too large! haha)
I appreciate Pete's vulnerability - his willingness to lay before the public eye his weaknesses and even failures as a father, husband and pastor. I don't look upon him harshly - I see only the path that we are all walking as believers: believing the Word, praying, etc - but still noting that our struggles don't disappear. The struggles of our world are intense and we feel as though we lack the tools to fight well. We find our humanity is all too apparent and wonder where victory is.
The basic cry of this book is to SLOW DOWN and GROW UP and live the life God has designed for you only. He repeatedly emphasizes that you cannot be emotionally immature and spiritually mature at the same time. They are integrated. Knowledge alone does little to transform us unless we slow down, and allow the Spirit to reveal hidden strongholds and emotional 'allergies' that have followed us through life.
I could quote and list MANY things that impacted me but I will share just this one that list that hit me square in the heart: a list from St. John of the Cross: "the seven deadly spiritual imperfections of beginners that must be purified." And yes, I'm a beginner - I've been a believer for 32 years, have 6 years of Bible training and countless hours of conferences and sermons, and I am still a beginner:
One final application from this book - He recommends praying the "prayer of examen" by St. Ignatius Loyola at the end of each day. This discipline asks us to stop in prayer before sleep each night and look over the events of the day with Jesus - and to stop and ask where we were walking in the Spirit or not. I often drop in bed exhausted and 'save my praying' for the morning - but i would like to change that habit to a more mindful watching of my heart throughout the day.
Sorry this is so long and quick - as someone once said, "I don't have enough time to write less." So this will do for now...perhaps more thoughts will follow.
I appreciate Pete's vulnerability - his willingness to lay before the public eye his weaknesses and even failures as a father, husband and pastor. I don't look upon him harshly - I see only the path that we are all walking as believers: believing the Word, praying, etc - but still noting that our struggles don't disappear. The struggles of our world are intense and we feel as though we lack the tools to fight well. We find our humanity is all too apparent and wonder where victory is.
The basic cry of this book is to SLOW DOWN and GROW UP and live the life God has designed for you only. He repeatedly emphasizes that you cannot be emotionally immature and spiritually mature at the same time. They are integrated. Knowledge alone does little to transform us unless we slow down, and allow the Spirit to reveal hidden strongholds and emotional 'allergies' that have followed us through life.
I could quote and list MANY things that impacted me but I will share just this one that list that hit me square in the heart: a list from St. John of the Cross: "the seven deadly spiritual imperfections of beginners that must be purified." And yes, I'm a beginner - I've been a believer for 32 years, have 6 years of Bible training and countless hours of conferences and sermons, and I am still a beginner:
- Pride: they have a tendency to condemn others and become impatient with their faults. They are very selective in who can teach them.
- Avarice: they are discontent with the spirituality God has given them. They never have enough learning, are always reading many books rather than growing in poverty of spirit and their interior life.
- Luxury: they take more pleasure in the spiritual blessings of God than God Himself.
- Wrath: they are easily irritated, lacking sweetness, and have little patience to wait on God.
- Spiritual Gluttony: they resist the cross and choose pleasures like children do.
- Spiritual envy: they feel unhappy when others do well spiritually. They are always comparing.
- Sloth: they run from that which is hard. Their aim is spiritual sweetness and good feelings.
One final application from this book - He recommends praying the "prayer of examen" by St. Ignatius Loyola at the end of each day. This discipline asks us to stop in prayer before sleep each night and look over the events of the day with Jesus - and to stop and ask where we were walking in the Spirit or not. I often drop in bed exhausted and 'save my praying' for the morning - but i would like to change that habit to a more mindful watching of my heart throughout the day.
Sorry this is so long and quick - as someone once said, "I don't have enough time to write less." So this will do for now...perhaps more thoughts will follow.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Grace Through the Ages - by Dr. Bill Smith
Grit & Grace: One New Yorker’s Thoughts on this newly released daily devotional...
I consider myself a New Yorker now...six years in this city will
change a person. One tends to find themselves more defensive, more
on-edge, and less trusting than perhaps previous lifestyles have led them to
be. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I want to mirror Him to others but
find myself struggling against the grain. To be gracious and kind when
the world around you is rough and rude - how is that possible?
Bill Smith, in his poignant, kind and sometimes ironic tone,
identifies the only real transforming ingredient of our lives: the grace of
God. While I read this devotional, I see glimpses of the character of a God Who
blows me away with His gracious response to rude, disrespectful, and demeaning
human beings: i.e., ME. The only way I can live as a daughter of Him in
this messed up world is to know the transforming power of an unimaginable grace
that has been levied on me. Just like the parable of the forgiven but
ungrateful servant, I face a choice to pass that grace onto others OR show the
world that I have not yet really and deeply understood just how much I have
been forgiven.
The next time someone pushes me on the subway I'm going to try
and remember that.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
The Tipping Point - by Malcolm Gladwell
The basic idea of this book is that epidemics spread based on ingredients that are often different than what we'd expect. And no, not medical epidemics per se, but whenever anything 'goes viral' and suddenly moves from a small, cloistered few to a large, sweeping point of interest. One illustration in the book is how hush puppies made a comeback, from a small group of eccentric fashion-forward people in the East Village of NY to a country-wide fashion phenomena.
Gladwell's points were few, but heavily illustrated. I have to admit that I'm of the temperament that would prefer less illustration and more direct writing...however...the illustrations did help me understand his points more deeply. Still, I think I could have skipped a few illustrations and still come away with the basics of author's ideas.
The Three Rules of Epidemics - The Law of the Few, the Stickiness Factor, and the Power of Context.
The Law of the Few - Social epidemics are "driven by the efforts of a handful of exceptional people." ...how "sociable they are, or how energetic or knowledgable or influential among their peers." These few can have a powerful, far-reaching effect when the idea or product they are promoting engages with the two other rules of epidemics. Three kinds of people help move ideas to epidemics: connectors, mavens, and salesmen. A connector is someone who is well networked, and seems to 'know everyone' and continually be introducing one person into another network or world. Connectors spread ideas through the simple fact of being linked with a wide variety of people. Mavens are those who are the watch-dogs of quality, and will research and correct those who miss the mark. Mavens are rare, but they delight in correctness for its own sake and will insure that a company knows about his/her presence. Mavens promote products they believe in and speak loudly both about those they like and those they dislike. The concept of the salesman is a bit self-explanatory. True salesmen can sell 'ice to an eskimo,' and in so doing, be part of the spread of an epidemic.
The Stickiness Factor - this is Gladwell's attempt to describe that illusive something that forms the difference between a commercial that is entertaining, and a commercial that not only makes us remember the specific product but also want to buy it. Stickiness is what makes something more enduring, memorable, and effective. "Stickiness means that a message makes an impact. You can't get it out of your head. It sticks in your memory."
The Power of Context - "The power of context says that human beings are a lot more sensitive to their environment than they may seem." Gladwell uses the 1984 NYC subway system as an example. Dirty, ridden with crime, and full of graffiti, it wasn't exactly the kind of system that promoted public pride. Fare-jumpers were common, and police didn't even bother with them. The whole system was broken, and the public knew it. But when the system came under new management, things changed. One of the very first actions of the new manager was to clean every subway car, scrub off the graffiti, and keep it that way. What?!?! When crime and broken trains and fire were rampant every day, why the focus on cosmetics? Because - the CONTEXT that patrons were in every day bred a lack of responsibility and ownership. The system was abused because the graffiti sent the message that nobody was minding the store. As soon as someone began to mind the store, things began to change. This idea suggests that for an idea to stick - we are extremely susceptible to our environment and the messages it sends. Epidemics can be fueled by context.
I agree with Gladwell that the power of context is enormous, while I do think that the author went a bit TOO far in his application of the idea. While context influences us all more than we realize, we are still responsible for our own actions and must therefore have an outside source to help us know what is right and wrong. Gladwell describes a murder that takes place on the subway in that time frame and why, in his thinking, some of the 'blame' went to the context that the gunman was in every single day. Again, context IS powerful and I cannot deny that - but BECAUSE it is powerful, as a Christian, I believe that is why we must have an even more powerful 'context' in which to think, act and live. For me, that is the Word of God and the Holiness of the God I serve that dictates my actions. We are all susceptable to decline based on context, but we still make personal choices.
As a Christian, there are plenty of things that I would like to see become an 'epidemic.' Church-planting and missional lifestyles. Gospel-based thinking and actions of mercy. Scripture-memory and engaging prayer. Justice for the down-trodden and food for the hungry.
From a Christian perspective, I think that what Gladwell is describing captures some of the ways that God uses His own people to move ideas from small pockets into large networks. As a leader, I want to think intentionally about these three 'rules' and where they might apply in my own context. What is my role? Who else do I need on my team in order to move big dreams into reality? Where can I find a Maven, a Salesperson, and more Connectors? What makes my vision 'sticky' for the Body of Christ in NYC? And what context do I need to either 'create' or act in defiance of in order to see movement happen?
Gladwell's points were few, but heavily illustrated. I have to admit that I'm of the temperament that would prefer less illustration and more direct writing...however...the illustrations did help me understand his points more deeply. Still, I think I could have skipped a few illustrations and still come away with the basics of author's ideas.
The Three Rules of Epidemics - The Law of the Few, the Stickiness Factor, and the Power of Context.
The Law of the Few - Social epidemics are "driven by the efforts of a handful of exceptional people." ...how "sociable they are, or how energetic or knowledgable or influential among their peers." These few can have a powerful, far-reaching effect when the idea or product they are promoting engages with the two other rules of epidemics. Three kinds of people help move ideas to epidemics: connectors, mavens, and salesmen. A connector is someone who is well networked, and seems to 'know everyone' and continually be introducing one person into another network or world. Connectors spread ideas through the simple fact of being linked with a wide variety of people. Mavens are those who are the watch-dogs of quality, and will research and correct those who miss the mark. Mavens are rare, but they delight in correctness for its own sake and will insure that a company knows about his/her presence. Mavens promote products they believe in and speak loudly both about those they like and those they dislike. The concept of the salesman is a bit self-explanatory. True salesmen can sell 'ice to an eskimo,' and in so doing, be part of the spread of an epidemic.
The Stickiness Factor - this is Gladwell's attempt to describe that illusive something that forms the difference between a commercial that is entertaining, and a commercial that not only makes us remember the specific product but also want to buy it. Stickiness is what makes something more enduring, memorable, and effective. "Stickiness means that a message makes an impact. You can't get it out of your head. It sticks in your memory."
The Power of Context - "The power of context says that human beings are a lot more sensitive to their environment than they may seem." Gladwell uses the 1984 NYC subway system as an example. Dirty, ridden with crime, and full of graffiti, it wasn't exactly the kind of system that promoted public pride. Fare-jumpers were common, and police didn't even bother with them. The whole system was broken, and the public knew it. But when the system came under new management, things changed. One of the very first actions of the new manager was to clean every subway car, scrub off the graffiti, and keep it that way. What?!?! When crime and broken trains and fire were rampant every day, why the focus on cosmetics? Because - the CONTEXT that patrons were in every day bred a lack of responsibility and ownership. The system was abused because the graffiti sent the message that nobody was minding the store. As soon as someone began to mind the store, things began to change. This idea suggests that for an idea to stick - we are extremely susceptible to our environment and the messages it sends. Epidemics can be fueled by context.
I agree with Gladwell that the power of context is enormous, while I do think that the author went a bit TOO far in his application of the idea. While context influences us all more than we realize, we are still responsible for our own actions and must therefore have an outside source to help us know what is right and wrong. Gladwell describes a murder that takes place on the subway in that time frame and why, in his thinking, some of the 'blame' went to the context that the gunman was in every single day. Again, context IS powerful and I cannot deny that - but BECAUSE it is powerful, as a Christian, I believe that is why we must have an even more powerful 'context' in which to think, act and live. For me, that is the Word of God and the Holiness of the God I serve that dictates my actions. We are all susceptable to decline based on context, but we still make personal choices.
As a Christian, there are plenty of things that I would like to see become an 'epidemic.' Church-planting and missional lifestyles. Gospel-based thinking and actions of mercy. Scripture-memory and engaging prayer. Justice for the down-trodden and food for the hungry.
From a Christian perspective, I think that what Gladwell is describing captures some of the ways that God uses His own people to move ideas from small pockets into large networks. As a leader, I want to think intentionally about these three 'rules' and where they might apply in my own context. What is my role? Who else do I need on my team in order to move big dreams into reality? Where can I find a Maven, a Salesperson, and more Connectors? What makes my vision 'sticky' for the Body of Christ in NYC? And what context do I need to either 'create' or act in defiance of in order to see movement happen?
Good to Great - by Jim Collins
I have always liked the idea that "good is the enemy of great." I have always been drawn to things that challenge the status quo, and this is one of those things.
Jim Collins is one of my favorite authors (and we need to pray that he comes to faith!). He identifies key concepts in leadership and management that, not surprisingly, often mirror Scriptural principles.
This book captures the elements of what moves companies from "good," to "great." With strict standards and much research, his team interviewed leaders and developed these key concepts. There is a lot of great material in this book - but let me share what impacted me the most.
Level 5 Leadership: - in summary, someone who has leadership ability, vision, competence and talent, but MINUS the ego. The ego, in a sense, is subservient to the cause or purpose/vision of the organization. It was certainly a challenge to me to look at my own ego and evaluate where it falls. To be human is to desire growth and accomplishment, but we can't allow this desire to overrun the real reason we exist and serve. C.S. Lewis said something to the effect that he could not work too hard to avoid thinking of his own success and fame.
What We Can Be Best At: Jim Collins describes the three circles: "What you are deeply passionate about," "what you can be the best in the world at," and "what drives your economic engion." Where these three circles overlap: this is your sweet spot, what your company should pursue to the exclusion of all other distractions. He calls this the "hedgehog concept." I love this simply because our tendency, especially in Christian ministry, is to do too many things...and to do them all half-way. I have heard the phrase, "if something is worth doing, it is worth doing poorly." While I intuitively don't like that expression, there is truth in it at the beginning...UNTIL you figure out what you should focus on, and then pursue it with all excellence and exclude the things that distract you.
Start a 'Stop Doing' List: In order to apply the hedgehog concept well, we must STOP doing a number of things that distract us. Time wasters, time drainers, or even worthy things that take us away from our main goal. Once your core purpose is identified, everyone should keep a "stop doing" list in a promonent place!
Create a Culture of Discipline/Get the Right People on the Bus and in the Right Seats: While the 'bus' concept may already be familiar to you, I appreciated Collins' challenge to create a culture of corporate discipline that keeps standards high. One issue that clogs up an organization is someone in the wrong seat on the bus who has no passion for what they are doing, and thus no inward drive that can push them into excellence. If you've ever been in a position that doesn't fit for a long season of life (I have), you know the intense drain emotionally and even physically that results. However, in contrast, getting the right person into the right position naturally will release their passion and interest and drive - which will naturally build into your culture of discipline. This reduces the amount of time that management needs to spend in making sure that there people are working hard enough or producing results. Instead, your people will be motivated internally to produce results that lead to excellence.
In conclusion, a worthy read!! I think the "level 5 leadership" was the biggest take home for me and the "one thing" from this book that I will remember well and attempt to apply. May God transform ME into a level-five leader someday!
Jim Collins is one of my favorite authors (and we need to pray that he comes to faith!). He identifies key concepts in leadership and management that, not surprisingly, often mirror Scriptural principles.
This book captures the elements of what moves companies from "good," to "great." With strict standards and much research, his team interviewed leaders and developed these key concepts. There is a lot of great material in this book - but let me share what impacted me the most.
Level 5 Leadership: - in summary, someone who has leadership ability, vision, competence and talent, but MINUS the ego. The ego, in a sense, is subservient to the cause or purpose/vision of the organization. It was certainly a challenge to me to look at my own ego and evaluate where it falls. To be human is to desire growth and accomplishment, but we can't allow this desire to overrun the real reason we exist and serve. C.S. Lewis said something to the effect that he could not work too hard to avoid thinking of his own success and fame.
What We Can Be Best At: Jim Collins describes the three circles: "What you are deeply passionate about," "what you can be the best in the world at," and "what drives your economic engion." Where these three circles overlap: this is your sweet spot, what your company should pursue to the exclusion of all other distractions. He calls this the "hedgehog concept." I love this simply because our tendency, especially in Christian ministry, is to do too many things...and to do them all half-way. I have heard the phrase, "if something is worth doing, it is worth doing poorly." While I intuitively don't like that expression, there is truth in it at the beginning...UNTIL you figure out what you should focus on, and then pursue it with all excellence and exclude the things that distract you.
Start a 'Stop Doing' List: In order to apply the hedgehog concept well, we must STOP doing a number of things that distract us. Time wasters, time drainers, or even worthy things that take us away from our main goal. Once your core purpose is identified, everyone should keep a "stop doing" list in a promonent place!
Create a Culture of Discipline/Get the Right People on the Bus and in the Right Seats: While the 'bus' concept may already be familiar to you, I appreciated Collins' challenge to create a culture of corporate discipline that keeps standards high. One issue that clogs up an organization is someone in the wrong seat on the bus who has no passion for what they are doing, and thus no inward drive that can push them into excellence. If you've ever been in a position that doesn't fit for a long season of life (I have), you know the intense drain emotionally and even physically that results. However, in contrast, getting the right person into the right position naturally will release their passion and interest and drive - which will naturally build into your culture of discipline. This reduces the amount of time that management needs to spend in making sure that there people are working hard enough or producing results. Instead, your people will be motivated internally to produce results that lead to excellence.
In conclusion, a worthy read!! I think the "level 5 leadership" was the biggest take home for me and the "one thing" from this book that I will remember well and attempt to apply. May God transform ME into a level-five leader someday!
Friday, September 7, 2012
How Successful People Think - by John Maxwell
How you think is how you live. Our thought life is not some hidden, personal area of our lives. It 'leaks' into our actions and behaviors and interactions with others.
John Maxwell, in his usual direct and succinct way, discusses 11 areas of "thinking" that influence our lives. In this small book, he is trying to identify the key areas of thought that determine if a person will be successful or not in any area of their lives. His theory? Change your thinking = change your life.
His list of "thinking" areas is as follows: (1) Big-Picture Thinking, (2) Focused Thinking, (3) Creative Thinking, (4) Realistic Thinking, (5) Strategic Thinking, (6) Possibility Thinking, (7) Reflective Thinking, (8) Question Popular Thinking, (9) Benefit from Shared Thinking, (10) Unselfish Thinking, and (11) Bottom-line Thinking.
'Successful' people tend to think in those ways. They engage the big picture and are not limited by narrow views. They focus their thoughts on what is most important. They are not dry and static, but engage in creative problem solving. They blend positive thinking about what is possible with realistic thinking in order to plan for the worst-case scenario. They plan ahead with strategic thinking, learn from past mistakes with reflective thinking, and never automatically follow popular-thinking without first questioning its foundation and truth. Successful people include others in their brainstorming and projects so as to benefit from shared thinking because the wealth of the whole is greater than one part. They engage in unselfish thinking and behavior, which is always a 'win' in the long run for their organization's purpose and health. And, finally, successful people never lose sight of the bottom-line: why they do what they do.
As with all of John Maxwell's books, I often finish a book feeling inspired to grow and lead in a better way...and I feel overwhelmed with the sheer number of ideals and new actions he suggests putting into practice. John states things to simply and practically that it sounds as if it is the easiest thing in the world is to put these new actions into place. Well, that may take some time! I feel that the best way to read John's books is to select 2 or 3 key action areas to put into practice, and consider it success if you do!
Summary - a good read...but not my favorite...too many ideas packed into one little booklet makes it hard to know which one to focus on!
John Maxwell, in his usual direct and succinct way, discusses 11 areas of "thinking" that influence our lives. In this small book, he is trying to identify the key areas of thought that determine if a person will be successful or not in any area of their lives. His theory? Change your thinking = change your life.
His list of "thinking" areas is as follows: (1) Big-Picture Thinking, (2) Focused Thinking, (3) Creative Thinking, (4) Realistic Thinking, (5) Strategic Thinking, (6) Possibility Thinking, (7) Reflective Thinking, (8) Question Popular Thinking, (9) Benefit from Shared Thinking, (10) Unselfish Thinking, and (11) Bottom-line Thinking.
'Successful' people tend to think in those ways. They engage the big picture and are not limited by narrow views. They focus their thoughts on what is most important. They are not dry and static, but engage in creative problem solving. They blend positive thinking about what is possible with realistic thinking in order to plan for the worst-case scenario. They plan ahead with strategic thinking, learn from past mistakes with reflective thinking, and never automatically follow popular-thinking without first questioning its foundation and truth. Successful people include others in their brainstorming and projects so as to benefit from shared thinking because the wealth of the whole is greater than one part. They engage in unselfish thinking and behavior, which is always a 'win' in the long run for their organization's purpose and health. And, finally, successful people never lose sight of the bottom-line: why they do what they do.
As with all of John Maxwell's books, I often finish a book feeling inspired to grow and lead in a better way...and I feel overwhelmed with the sheer number of ideals and new actions he suggests putting into practice. John states things to simply and practically that it sounds as if it is the easiest thing in the world is to put these new actions into place. Well, that may take some time! I feel that the best way to read John's books is to select 2 or 3 key action areas to put into practice, and consider it success if you do!
Summary - a good read...but not my favorite...too many ideas packed into one little booklet makes it hard to know which one to focus on!
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